He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
