I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
