Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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