i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize