I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
