It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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