All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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