Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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