i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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