Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
