I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
