He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
