so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
