have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Randomize
