Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
