You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
