Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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