you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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