i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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