don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
