last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
