I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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