She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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