Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
