also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize