do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
What a dumb baby whore.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
