Well douche your snatch and let's go!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
