Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
