So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize