Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I could fuck to npr.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
