so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i out mim tonsoeep
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