rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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