R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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