I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
