i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize