my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
