Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
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