if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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