PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
