i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
