The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
