I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
