Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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