he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
