Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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