I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
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