But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
