Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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