We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
