How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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