I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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