I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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