so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
