god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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