It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It's never too late to be topless.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
