Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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