No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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