you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
People in love make me want to vomit
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
