Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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