So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
